Alaboutnothing Official Blog

December 10, 2018

New Catch Phrases and other stuff

Since the Pound Sign (#) is now called the “Hashtag” we figured there must be other words that should be replaced because of the “techie” revolution.  The Pound Sign is still call “Pound Sign” by programmers because the symbol is used for masking numeric amounts when programming in BBx and or any other character based languages like Foo-Man Choo, Innie Meenie Miney Moo, Sweet & Sour, Your It, and the world famous and all encompassing Pig Latin.

So here are our picks and we officially copyright them as of December 10, 2018, just in case we see them used without authorization, or blatantly used without any concern to the people who are actually effected.  (Should we use affected here?)

A few years ago our left elbow started hurting like it was sprained and it was starting to impair our movement so we made an appointment and went to the doctor.  After some minor tests the doctor said “You have Tennis Elbow”.  We said, “Doctor we have not played tennis in decades.”   The doctor said “That’s the name for what you are experiencing.”  We said “Then doctor we have a new name for this because we know what caused it.”  We said “It now officially “Tablet Elbow” because this is the arm we hold our table with when we are using it and we are on our tablet for hours per day.”  We are guessing that there are many of you out there in cyber-land that may have gone though this and now you know what it’s called.  The cure is a athletic bandage wrap and Ibuprofen as needed.  It did take several weeks before it went away, and we have not experienced it since.

Are next offering is about this blog.  We have not posted anything for a long time because there is so much going on that we simply could not decide on what to post. A friend said “You might have writers block.”   We thought for a few minutes and said “We are not writers like one would think. We are bloggers so we must have “Bloggers Block”!  Yes, in this day and age where Bloggers are all over the place on the web, this has to be the new name!  In short “BB” would describe it to other bloggers and they would know what we are talking about.  Now if you’re a “writer”, then you can still use the “writers block”, but if you attempt to use “Bloggers Block” then you might be prosecuted for misdirection of a “catch phrase” and it could destroy your reputation.  Of course, if your both, then that will be taken in to consideration by the Blogger Detectives handling your case.  We can feel the stress of millions of Bloggers out there in cyber-land going away because we now have identified this common illness and now they can get on with their lives and stop “milling about” (Archangel Michael used “milling about” in the movie “Michael” when he was describing how it was before he invented “standing in line”).

If you noticed above where we asked “Should we use Affected here?” This is another phrase we want to bring to your attention.  If you have read our blogs over the years you have noticed we are, wait for it, we are “Grammar Challenged”.  We are often corrected by our friends who are professional super spellers or “anal” perfect grammar self appointed authorities mostly with a sun sign of “Gemini” or “Virgo”. These people are usually “writers” who look down on “bloggers” as an inferior form of communication and should be control by some made up Department of Grammar.  Our point is if the reader knows what you are talking about, then we don’t need to take a decade of grammar classes just to use a mere word correctly when in fact we probably use the word once in a lifetime.  (Wonder how many “writers” clicked out of this post here?)  We do believe “Words Matter” but not all and not always.  If it matters then we go to Google and look it up.  In some of our posts we invited the readers to correct us and we have “never” received a spelling or grammar correction.  Our readers are the smartest gramarist (actual word) in the Universe.

Now we bring to your attention another catch phrase that make up back in the 90’s, and have often used to describe the reading of misspelled words. When someone asks how we read something misspelled we say “We read “typoese” and are have been fluent readers for years. We found back in the 90’s that hanging around in Over-Forty chat rooms on AOL the spelling was not very good and the text was moving so fast you not only had to be a fast reader, but you had to quickly figure out what they meant and it was usually nothing of meaning, so we would just move on.  Usually at the end of the paragraph it was clear what they were saying. If you want to know our AOL screen-name email us, we might have met in a room or up in the loft and took a gondola ride. (Hidden meaning)

Because our career was as a software developer we usually worked with the IT Departments of our clients and there was one phase we bust a gut laughing about.  It was when a user would send a “fix ticket” asking where the “any” key was.  It was when a message would display on an application they were using saying “Hit any key to continue.”  We would sit in meeting just laughing out asses off.  Eventually we figured out that the users were sending these on purpose, or at least we hoped they were.  If you were one of the users we apologize for laughing, please forgive us. (Karma adjustment).  Obviously we had nothing better to do.

We have some great stories about IT, but that is for a later post. Especially the story of when all the IT departments of Starchwood Adult Toys in the country were on a conference call with corporate in NY.  There were probably several hundred people on a “live” call.  A small office in AZ where there was one guy on the call that did not realize that anything he said would broadcast throughout all the connections.  Someone in his office evidently stopped by and asked him if he wanted to go for a round of golf?  He then said, wait for it, “I am on a F***ing conference call with corporate and barely staying awake, so I can’t go.”  We heard it and so did everyone else and it happen to be a satellite office of the office where we were.  Everyone at the table looked at each other with eyes raised and mouths open.  People ran out the door laughing loudly.  There was a VP in the room that immediately got up and left.  Rumor has it that the guy in AZ was gone the next day.

We have nothing to report at this time except to thank all of you that read our posts and hopefully we have taught you how to read “typoese”.  Did this advance your career?  If it did, please donate a chunk of change to St. Jude Hospital in Memphis TN.  Thanks to all our readers and we look forward to using lousy grammar to enhance your lives and make you feel good that you are not the only grammar impaired person in the Universe.

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