Alaboutnothing Official Blog

May 27, 2018

Memorial Day Weekend 2018 – Missed Watching the Indy 500 2018

The Indianapolis 500 was this weekend and we missed it.  Yes after years of watching we missed and we are nervous about what will be coming our way.  The way things are going in our great country with the Trump ICE Gestapo rounding up immigrants, separating the kids from their parents, and putting this country in turmoil, has us really scared.

You might wonder why we are scared and it’s because we are Hoosier’s and if you were born before 1979 in Indiana look at the bottom left corner of your birth certificate.  In very small print it says “You are required to too watch at least 20 laps of every Indianapolis 500 forever. This is considered a contract and your parent’s signature assures the execution of this document”.  The penalty for missing the race is they will send someone to hunt you down no matter where you are in the world and drag to back to Indianapolis Indiana and in front of thousands (More than Trump inauguration crowd) rip up your birth certificate so that you no longer will be considered a “HOOSIER”!  Our mug shot will be posted at all the 7-11’s in the State of Indiana and we will not be allowed back in the state for any reason.  We will no longer be allowed to sing the State song “On the Banks of the Wabash, Far away”.  Some people think “Back Home Again in Indiana” is the State song, but it’s not.  It’s a song sang by Jim Nabors sang this song at the Indy 500 but he has retired and this year it will be performed by (Not us) a cappella group Straight No Chaser.  (We actually looked this up on Google).

On the positive side we will no longer be associated with a state that Mike Pence was the Governor of and we can start calling the “Indianapolis 500”, the “Indy 500”.  We have a copy of our birth certificate (Just in case) and we will continue to call ourselves “Hoosiers”.  We will of course change our name and move to Lima Peru and become llama herders.  We hear the Andes are beautiful and we might go looking for some ancient civilization that might have left a few billion in gold in a cave just for us to find.  We of course will come back to the U.S.A. when it becomes a democracy again, but until then we will be shaving llamas and we might even get some alpacas.  It would be interesting to mate a llama with an alpaca to see what the result would be.  “Allampaca” could be the new name and hopefully we won’t get thrown out of Peru for this experiment.  If so, we have a Plan B and that would be to move to Sweden where the entire population has healthcare unlike the USA, no guns unlike the USA, no booze (except Vodka) unlike the USA, hopefully no cigarettes unlike the USA, and we could become “Swedish meatball” farmers.  A little know fact is that in Sweden “meatballs” are grown on a farm.  Go Google it (Fox News).  See for yourself and in a few years look for “Swedish Organic Meatballs grown by Hoosier 500” being sold in the Republic of America.

So missing the Indy 500 looks to be a huge benefit and should kick in some really great creation energy and we are looking forward to meeting people from all over the world.  If we are in Peru we can take a tour of the Andes riding our home-grown “Allampaca” or if in Sweden we can gorge ourselves on free-range meatballs.  We do want to take a side trip and go to the Vatican and meet the Pope, only if he will meet us face to face. (We hear he does not usually meet X-Hoosiers).

We have nothing else to add at this time except to thank all our readers of our posts and because this is an environment that can be accessed for anywhere in the world, so we will have plenty of time when we are in Peru raising our “Allampaca” herd or in Sweden growing meatballs.

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