Alaboutnothing Official Blog

December 7, 2017

Beer Belly Karma

The people who have known me my entire adult life as 6′ tall 150 lbs. 32″ waist, I was so skinny that when I had hair curled and turn sideways my x-mother-in-law gave me the nickname of “Q-Tip”.

When going out with friends we used to go out to the bars and when we saw a guy with a beer belly we used to crack jokes like “His belly is so big, he had to have a strap of Velcro surgically implanted so he could keep his pants up!”  or “He had a bar of lead implanted in his ass so he would not fall forward for the weight of that enormous belly!”. In those days of hitting the bars in the Lincoln Park section of Chicago there were plenty of beer belly dudes that provided us with hours of laughter.

Then five years ago when I quit smoking food started tasting great.  Most people think that when you  quit smoking you turn to food to replace the cigarettes, and some probably do but not me.  Every piece of food tasted like a feast the most delicious tid-bit.  After six months to celebrate quitting smoking we went to “Sundance – The Steakhouse” in Palo alto.  I all my years of looking for the finest steak, this is where it was found.  we have been here before and we thought it was awesome, but now that food was tasting great, we wanted to go back and the meal was beyond awesome.  It verged on being a orgasmic experience and when we were done I wanted to smoke, but instead I did my Mindfulness Meditation to get past the urge to smoke.  Yes folks, everything tasted better even my favorite junk foods like Gold Fish, Lays Potato Chips (Original), M&M’s, Cheeto’s, Doorito’s, and Frosted Flakes became my go to breakfast food.

The 32″ waist is now 36″. Yes the Karma kicked in and we needed a new wardrobe.  No Velcro or lead bar, but the belt is now one of those that is easily sized.  I tell my friends that I look like I am pregnant, we even got one of those maternity T-Shirts with the arrow pointing down.  Its our way of bringing smiles when walking down the street.

So to all those beer belly guys we made fun of back in the day, we apologize for the comments, and we thank you for the laughs.  There is one beer belly we still make fun of, not because of his belly, its because he is the moron running our country.  His side silhouette is hilarious.

We have nothing else to report except our dating site scam tip is “If the lady is telling you that she is on a mission with UNICEF overseas somewhere in Africa” then lock down your wallet, because she is about to ask you for food money “because she is getting sick from the food provided and needs to buy different food and because she is a volunteer she does not get paid until she gets back home”

Got it! Scam!  Oh you say, “I will send you a check.”, she says, “No, it has to be cash”, so you say “I will FedEx it to you.”,  she says, “No FedEx here, you need to do a bank transfer to my bank account”.  If you do what she says the get ready to be wiped out of your retirement, savings account, and lose your house, wife, kids, car, motorcycle, your girl friend, your mistress, your membership to the country club, and KKK, and everything you have worked for your entire life.  The good news is you can still be a Trump supporter.

Think about it, you are chatting to what you think is a little cutie telling you that you are handsome and sexy, she is sending you sexy pictures, and tells you that as soon as she gets back you will meet and the sparks will fly. In reality you are talking to a guy is a sweat shop somewhere in the world that when he asks you a sexual question and you answer he sends your response to the big screen in the room and everyone laughs at you. Is it worth it?

To all our new followers and soon to be new followers we say Namaste and we hope you get a laugh or two from our posts.  We thank you for staying with us during the good times and the not so good times, which are good times, because this is where we learn and grow. We grateful for everyone and everything in this awesome universe we are all part of.

The nothing staff wishes all says thank you!

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